dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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