"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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