I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize