So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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