if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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