whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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