It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
