Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
