are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He passed out mid-signature
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
