I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize