atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
