I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
