Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
