I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
