sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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