i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
