dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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