we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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