i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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