sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
