I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
