so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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