lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
