is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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