Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
