guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I believe in your delicious
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
