i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
