I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
