Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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