So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
