The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
