Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
