The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
