Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You can't just leave with hair like that
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
