Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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