he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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