Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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