my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
