Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
