Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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