Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
