I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
