Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
