It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
