Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
