we're blogging at a bar
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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