He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
