this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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