moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize