I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
