Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
