Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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