My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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