Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
