Duck Duck Cougar?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
