Who wears a wallet chain?!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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