I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
