I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I cut my penus on the lid.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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