she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
