Porn is love you can see.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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