When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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