I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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