he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize