i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
