Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize