A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
