Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
